Coping With Silver-Linings During Troubling Times
Locating a silver-lining in life — especially during a global pandemic — can be a guilt-ridden activity. “At least I got to organize that closet I have been meaning to get to,” sounds sardonic when the only reason you had the time to do so was because of a ghoulish virus that has killed close to half a million people worldwide.
If you feel guilty for being happy and productive you are not alone. (If you feel guilt for not accomplishing during this time, you too are in great company — remember to be kind to yourself.) But substantiating and acknowledging that guilt does not lessen how that feeling is bad for you.
I can’t tell you (or me) to stop feeling something but I will try to explain how I have been battling my guilt during these tough times.
Sadly, in April I lost a loved one to complications caused by Covid-19. I was distraught at my loss, but my nature didn’t allow me to sit idle. I found activities to fill my time while I completed my coursework in my childhood bedroom (not how I imagined my senior year of college, but what can I do). Though I was in pain I was able to enjoy myself. I think many of us have this reaction to loss — eventually, you move on. But when thousands of people are still dying I thought to myself, why should I feel this way? Obviously I can’t be sad forever but perhaps I should wait out my personal pleasure for when there is less suffering?
To dissect this, consider mankind. History has proven time and again that when the human race faces a struggle, whether it be a natural disaster or bloody war, humans have bounced back. It may not have been immediate or direct, but progress was made as mankind insisted on marching forward towards a better future. I am a member of mankind, therefore I too have this trait of resiliency inherent in me, I too can and should move forward.
When that feeling of guilt emerged I responded to it by thinking “it’s inherent in my nature as a human to find the good in moments of crisis and use it to push me forward, so my excitement is good.”
Unfortunately, even during terrible times more bad can also happen, and here I speak of the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a Minnesota police officer. In the echos of much-needed uproar and protests, I cannot help but think of his daughter, a girl who is now without a father. How can she find this silver lining? She will suffer with this forever. I will never know her experience, but I will do all I can work to line her loss with silver. I can learn and listen and educate myself and those around me. Though it is painful to say, collective good will come from this family’s loss.
Essentially, the way to cope with these conflicting feelings is by being thankful for what happens to us, good or bad, because it forces us to introspect and find the positive. It also brings us moments of light. Discomfort is good when it leads to good, so embrace that feeling to improve yourself and the world around you.
Silver linings have been found in abundance during this time. However emotional they make me, I will continue to work on being proud that I have become closer to my family, that I read a lot of books, that I have educated myself. Remember the pain but don’t let it stop you from feeling the joy that comes with being thankful and productive.
Chana Weinberg is a summer intern at The Garnette Report specializing in all things sports and fitness. She has a Bachelor’s degree in English Literature from Yeshiva University and would love to hear from you. Feel free to reach out via twitter at @ChanaWeinberg7